On Sunday, my pastor congratulated me on my upcoming introduction ceremony.
I smiled because people were standing nearby. Inside, I was shaking.
David and I have talked about marriage, but I have not agreed to an introduction date. We still have not resolved where we would live, what would happen to my job, or why he expects his mother to make decisions about our home.
Whenever I raise those questions, David says, “You need to trust my leadership.”
Last week, I told him I could not move forward until we had an honest conversation. He said he understood.
Then he spoke to our pastor and both families. Now his mother is asking for my parents’ address so they can visit next month.
When I confronted David, he said he was “acting in faith” and that we would work out the details after the introduction.
“Don’t embarrass me in front of Pastor,” he added.
That was the part I could not forget.
I want counsel from my pastor, especially because David has already involved him. But David says taking our disagreements to church leaders would be a betrayal. He wants me to speak only to him—the same person who keeps ending the conversation whenever I ask a difficult question.
Tonight, my mother called to say David’s family may be visiting sooner than expected. She sounded so happy that I could barely speak.
I am staring at two unsent messages.
One says: “David, I have not agreed to this. We need to talk before anyone makes another plan.”
The other says: “Pastor, I think you have been told we are ready for marriage. I need you to hear my side.”
I do not want fear to make this decision for me. I also do not want everyone else’s excitement to become my consent.
Which message would you send first if you were in my shoes?
CandidHeart — Real People. Real Intentions. Real Love.